Dating Today

With the pace of the busy world today, most people don't have time to play games anymore. Most likely, you've been done with those games since elementary school. Finding someone to date can be complicated and you can feel like you hit a brick wall every time. You find yourself running into the same issues with the opposite sex, but you can't figure out why. Well, in this article, it defines the different types of girls or guys that you should avoid. Maybe you recognize a few or even avoid a couple of these. But you still need more info to understand how to recognize these people you should not get involved with. Below you'll find 5 types of guys to avoid and 5 types of girls to avoid:

5 Guy Types to Avoid

1. Mr. Clingy

Mr. Clingy is obviously clingy and never wants to leave your side. If you like space, you won't get it with this guy. He'll always want to know who, what, where, when and why. Some may be extreme and controlling, but others may just pout a little too much. He'll want to be by your side at every event, outing, family function, and any other occasion you step out of your house to attend. If he could sit beside you at work and stare at your face all day, he would. The reason you should avoid these types is that a guy like this shows his insecurity with his need to constantly connect to you. Your guy should be strong enough to be who he is (the same goes for ladies), without being defined by you. If you're ever to develop a healthy relationship built on a firm foundation, don't expect it to be with this guy.

2. The Stalker

Just the title of this one sounds scary, and rightfully so! The stalker stalks and not in a harmless way. The stalker has an obsession and you are his target. He knows everything you are doing and where you are,all the time. He'll find excuses to be around you or within your circle. And with Facebook so popular nowadays, you will find him constantly on your page or asking you about statuses, pictures, etc. on Facebook. In extreme cases, you may have to change your number or have a call block because he constantly texts, calls, etc.

3. The Player

Players are charming, cute, and sexy, but inside they're typically not able to offer so much of themselves. Players become that way for different reasons, whether they just got out of a relationship or they want to see how many people they can be with or they want constant companionship but don't want to be with the same woman, etc. Some people think they can change a player, it happens. But, overall, unless you stand out as being as amazing as the seven wonders of the world, you will most likely not be able to break down his world. If you're looking for a fun, thrilling time; the player's your guy. If you're looking for stability and love, players just don't have it in themselves to give you that.

4. Momma's Boy

This one seems harmless, but once you are deep into a relationship with a momma's boy, you'll see his mom is part of it too. There are momma's boys who are fully capable of having a relationship, then there are those who really couldn't live without their moms. You'll know when you've found one because he constantly seeks his mom's opinions in matters of your relationship. Or even worse, he could be telling his mom every detail about your relationship. This is unhealthy because in his mom's eyes, you'll never be good enough. She knows if she keeps her son close, she will never be replaced as the number one woman in his life. This guy will not get you anywhere. Because, in the end, with mom around, along with his dependency on her, it'll never be husband and wife.

5. The Cheater

Cheating is sometimes (rarely) forgivable. I've seen rare occurrences where it made the relationship stronger. But for the most part, cheating is hard to recover from. You can't judge someone by past relationships, because they were most likely a different person. Plus, they most likely feel differently about someone from their past than you. If they own up to it, that's important too. It shows they accept their actions. Dating a cheater is pretty much a living hell. It's disrespectful, sneaky, shallow, and an easy cop out. One, a cheater shows no respect and consideration to his current partner by just letting himself without even considering the thought of a different person. Two, for this to happen, they most likely have to hide it and not be truthful to someone. Every single person deserves honesty, so they can make their decisions accordingly. It's shallow for one to just jump from one relationship to think that this new, exciting someone will meet their needs. If someone is looking elsewhere, then they should at least be a person with dignity. And cut your current someone loose. It's the right thing to do.

Five Types of Girls to Avoid

1. Ms Dependent

Ms. Dependent is the equivalent of Mr. Clingy, except that Ms. Dependent cannot survive on her own. For every little thing in her life, she needs your help. She chooses to count on you every single time and expects you to help every single time. Doing something on her own is difficult for her. So instead of figuring it out, she'll just wait around until you can do it. I've seen women who won't even drive. She will always plan her schedule around you and waits for you to be available. This type of girl is difficult because although you are the man, she still has to carry her share and be able to take care of herself.

2. Ms Independent

Ms. Independent can handle it all, she rarely gives a guy a chance to help her. She's stubborn, holds her ground, and is difficult to compromise with. Sometimes Ms. Independent can go as far as not listening to you at all or even think she's right about everything. It's always about compromising in a relationship and working on a solution together. No one is right all the time and no one is wrong the entire time. Relationships take 100% on each person's part, so if someone's not giving that, you won't have a deeply connected relationship for very long.

3. Ms. Gold Digger

Every girl likes to be spoiled and have nice things. But the gold digger is the girl who is just looking to your earning and purchasing power. She sees wants to know how many things it can buy for her. If you were to be broke or be earning less, you'd see the back side of her, as she walks out. This is a girl who values materialistic items more than love from you or love for you. A real relationship is based on two people really loving and caring for each other. You won't find that from her. Her love is the love of money. Being in a relationship with a gold digger is not really a relationship with you, but a relationship between her and your money. If you want a woman who really cares and loves you, don't look for it from the gold digger.

4. Ms. High Maintenance

Ms High Maintenance is the equivalent of a car that needs constant trips to the mechanic. She needs constant attention from you. She has a lot of needs and most likely isn't willing to compromise. She may be someone who only wants things a certain way, from the clothes she wears to the way she does household chores. It's difficult to compromise with her because she wants her way. Some may even go as far as to depend on your for everything little thing, from her car to her house maintenance. If you're prepared to be giving this much attention, you may be okay. But more often than not, she'll drain you, leave you frustrated, and having no say so in the relationship.

5. Ms. Insecure

There's a little bit of insecurity in everyone, but these types of girls have high levels of insecurity. This is the girl who needs constant reassurance on a daily basis of how you feel for her or about how beautiful she is. Anytime you're upset, she constantly thinks it's her fault. These ladies are difficult to be with because 1) you can't start a relationship if either party is not confident in themselves. Insecure people don't even really know who they are themselves. If they did, they would be confident in everything they do. Relationships need a foundation to build on, and having an insecure girl is not.

Of course, you can be in relationships with people. But through experience, it proves itself true that these types of people are best to avoid. It's always best to enter relationships with healthy people. And that is difficult to find. Healthy people will be honest, responsible, confident in themselves, respectful, and able to stand on their own two feet. Dating isn't about finding someone to depend on, it's about finding someone you can together create a great relationship, an understanding, and a strong bond. You should strengthen each other, not drain each other.

Someone to Desire (STD), formerly smalltowndating is your resource for answers, laughs, and entertainment in the dating world.

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8 COMMON DATING MISTAKES MOST PEOPLE MAKE ON THE INTERNET

Finding love
We all want to be loved. It is a very profound human need. But how do we get it? Where do we look for it? Why don't we find it?

Today more and more people are perusing the Internet looking for love. Men and women alike are searching for that special someone. Yet the divorce rate is climbing. Most people feel that they have not found their soul mate or special someone. Why is that? Is the Internet really the place to look? If you want to use the Internet to date you have to be smart, sexy and savvy. Here are the 8 most common mistakes that people make on dating sites.

1. You don't love yourself. "Sure," you say, "I love myself." But do you really? You will attract whatever you send out. If you are negative, you will find a partner who is negative. If you are a liar you will find someone who will lie and cheat on you. If you don't love yourself you will attract someone who will treat you badly and not respect you. Before you go looking for love ready my book. Odyssey Victim to Victory. Love is the foundation of all our relationships including the one you have with you. Saying negative things about yourself does not serve you. Stop doing it. Right now. Make a contract with yourself to only say positive and loving things to you. Until you really love and accept yourself as you are, you will not find unconditional love. Unconditional love comes from within. Looking outside of yourself for love will leave you cold, empty and crying. Most likely you will not even recognize true love if it fell off a shelf and hit you on the head. If you are lonely, you don't love yourself. If you cannot be alone with yourself, you will not be happy with another either. This is a unending spiral. This is why so many people have been married so many times. They blame the other person for their unhappiness and get divorced. When the underlying cause of the divorce was lack of self love. DO NOT PASS GO! DO NOT COLLECT $200 ! Call me to schedule a one-on-one session with me now. If this is you.

2. Mis-representing yourself in your profile and photo . This is the biggest area of concern for most people using the Internet. It is very easy to post someone else's photo with a gorgeous fit body and full head of hair. Yet is this really you? If your photo is not 3 months or less, it is not considered current. Get a friend to take a photo of you fresh-looking, shave (for men) wear earrings and dressed nicely, with make-up if you wear it and your hair blown dry (for women). This is your best face you are putting out here. Look your best and make sure that the person taking the photo takes a head shot. Do not include your feet and your whole backyard or neighborhood. Nobody wants to see that. This is a up close and personal photo. So that people can see your face. Your photo tells the person looking at your profile a lot. Are you trying to hide behind sunglasses. Do not were sunglasses in this photo. Do not wear a ski mask or turn your head away from the camera. If you want a date, read the above paragraph again.

3. Saying you want a life partner when you just want sex. If you are not honest about this, your whole relationship is based on a lie. Some people are looking for love and a long-term relationship that leads to marriage, but not everyone wants the same thing. Some people are dealing with life issues and cannot have a relationship or don't want to. Although there is also a group out there that are afraid they will be hurt again and avoid relationships for that reason. PEOPLE LISTEN UP HERE! You cannot find love without taking a risk. The old adage, "No Pain, No Gain! has never been more true. If you want something that is truly of value, it is worth taking the risk and putting yourself out there. I know hundreds of women who are celibate, not because they want to be, but because they were hurt in their previous relationships. Men are in the same boat, they want someone in their bed, to share their hopes and dreams with, but are so scared that they will experience pain if they put themselves out there, that they remain stuck. Stuck is no place to be. It means you are stagnant and dying. Wouldn't you rather live? I know I sure would. Take a risk, what is the worst that can happen? Buddha said pain is inevitable, suffering is optional. Being stuck is suffering. Get out there and LIVE!

3. Lying of any sort is not Kosher! If you lie even a little bit in your profile, exaggerate or stretch the truth, it is the same as lying. If you tell the truth it is so much less stress. You don't have to try and remember what tales you have woven on your profile. Tell the truth. You have goodness inside you. Be honest, be positive. Talk about yourself as if you were describing yourself to an employer or new friend. Express yourself in your profile. Let your prospective partner get a peak at what is inside the box, or under the hood.

4. Telling someone they are hot and you can't wait to wake up next to them in the morning! Maybe this works for moose and deer in the woods, but it does not work with women. We want to be told we are beautiful, not hot. Hot means all you are thinking of is what lies ahead figuratively in the bedroom. Get your head out of the gutter and woo her. Men this takes time and effort. I know some of you just don't want to be bothered. Then give it up right now. Wooing and romance is part of the process and ritual of dating. It is required. This is what sets us apart from the animals in the forest. We actually have to get to know the person we are about to bed, first.

5. Expectations of Sex and Timing. Everyone is different. I don 't recommend sex before date 3 or 4. Perhaps even longer if you want the relationship to last. The earlier you hop into the sack - the shorter the relationship will be. It if a proven fact. Men have unconscious programming that pops back in when the relationship is about 6 months old. "If you did that with me, you'll probably do that with someone else!" If you want your relationship to be long lasting, take time to get to know one another. Do activities together and certainly don't rush into introducing your children to every Tom, Dick or Harry that you drag home. Your kids will be confused, even if you find it more convenient. It has a lasting affect on children. they begin to feel their worlds are being threatened by this new intruder.

6. Treat others as you want to be treated. If you are not interested in a date, do not lead them on and continue e-mailing or dating them. Don't let someone become more vested in a relationship that you have not interest in other than your own personal boredom and loneliness. Be kind, respectful and polite. If you need to tell someone you are not interested. You don't have to be rude, or mean. Just think of how you would like to be told. Use the Golden Rule. Do unto others as you would have them do unto you. Come with cash. Buy your date coffee for a change. Don't just expect that someone will pay your way all the time (women). There are two sides to the coin. You have to give to receive. You will be surprised at how well it goes over women, when you exercise your independence and buy your date a coffee for a change.

7. First Dates Are Always One Hour At a Public Place. You don't know this person. Set up your date at a mutually agreed upon place and time. A coffee house works best. Get a coffee, tea or bottle of water and sit and talk. A meal, movie or other distraction takes away from the purpose, DISCOVERY. You are here to learn about the other person. If you don't have any chemistry, and can't agree on activities and interests, let the person know, "Thank you for meeting me. This is not going to work for me." Keep it simple and short. Women and men should drive about the same distance to arrive at the agreed place.

8. Keep It Safe. Never give out your phone number or address to someone you have met on the internet before the first date. Meet them once or twice, or more to be sure that you can trust them. Drive your own vehicle. Never allow a first date to pick you up at your home. If you have any misgivings about the person or the meeting, don't go. Trust your own guidance. Your gut will never lie to you.

My Best Picks For Dating Sites

Free site: OK CUPID

Paid Site:

1.Match.com, 2.Chemistry.com, 3. Perfect Match, 4. E-Harmony, 5. Spark

Jennifer Elizabeth Masters is an author, speaker Dating Coach, Hynotherapist, Akashic Records Consultant and talk show host on Voice America Internet radio - her show is INTO THE MYSTIC. It airs on Thursdays at 1:00 PST, 2:00 MST and 4:00 EST. Each week Jennifer shares an aspect of her Spiritual journey with her listeners from listening to your guidance, the deep peace of meditation or the Mayan Calendar.

INTO THE MYSTIC is never the same, always new. You can download the shows on Voice America or on I-Tunes.

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